Countess ArseUppi – This international aristocrat is living proof Interpol just aren’t trying hard enough.

Film : Sarah Mallabar

Countess ArseUppi – Ageless, wageless, and suffering from vagueness, she has spent many years wandering all over Europe reminiscing endlessly about the ‘owld countree’ will she ever return? Was she ever there at all?

Countess ArseUppi – has lived several lives, deluded, disgraced and divorced from any sense of reality. She has however managed to carve a small niche for herself as a comedy compere, bewildering, bemusing and bedazzling audiences with her range of anecdotal ramblings.

Countess ArseUppi – Woman of mystery, raised by her grandmother, a champion mud wrestler, sheltered in her formative years by the hairless women who dwelt in the distant Immac Mountains ,what tales she has to tell…